How many New Year resolutions did you make this year? How long do you think it will be until you break them?
Chances are, it won’t be long. You see, New Year resolutions are nothing more than a wish list (or maybe a laundry list) of bad habits and shortcomings we’d like to change. That’s why “lose weight,” “exercise more” and “stop smoking” regularly soar to the top of charts that list the most common New Year’s resolutions.
But most resolutions are forgotten faster than they are made. That’s why I don’t make any resolutions for myself for the New Year. Instead of making resolutions to improve my business or personal life (and disappointing myself when I don’t stick to them), I’ve made the following laundry list of resolutions that I wish other people, businesses and organizations would make. I think you’ll find these New Year’s Resolutions worth reading. Perhaps you’ll have some of your own to add, too.
- Smartphone manufacturers will resolve to create an app that sounds a very loud alarm if your phone is still plugged into the charger when you leave your home or apartment.
- Related: cars that have capabilities to link to your smartphone via Bluetooth will show a message on your navigation panel or dashboard display that reads: “Forgot your phone again, Dummy. Go back and get it.”
- All smartphones, tablets and other keyboard devices will begin auto-correcting the words “Fake news,” changing them to read “News I don’t want to hear.”
- Smartphone manufacturers will make sure their phones work just as fast after 2 or 3 years as they do the day you take them out of the box.
- All online “review” and “comparison” websites will publish reviews and comparison recommendations that are based on product merit, rather than on the commission the sites stand to receive if their recommendations result in a sale.
- SUV manufacturers will start including a tool that lets you easily reach and clean the entire front windshield and sunroof (even if you’re short) without having to stand on the door jam or running board.
- Vehicle manufacturers will devise a way to prevent anything from falling into the narrow spaces between the center console and the two front seats.
- That bagless vacuum cleaner manufacturers will make lightweight vacuums that don’t take more time to clean than it took to vacuum the house.
- Reporters and broadcasters will resolve to stop using the term, “Elderly,” to describe people who are over 65 years old and victims of crimes.
- Smart phone manufacturers will resolve to develop devices with solar-powered batteries (like calculators have), so you don’t have to recharge so often or carry a portable charger.
- Computer keyboard manufacturers will resolve to use paint that doesn’t rub off to paint the letters on keys.
- Government agencies that require calories to be displayed on restaurant menus will resolve to allow restaurants to hide the calorie counts during the holidays.
- Toy manufacturers will resolve to make it possible to get toys out of the packaging in less than 30 minutes without having to use scissors or other devices to release the toys from their boxes.
- Cell phone and smart phone manufacturers will resolve to start running TV ads reminding customers that it’s rude to answer the phone, send a text, or check who’s calling while you’re talking to another person.
- App developers will resolve to develop a location-based app that automatically turns off an electronic device when its user is in a place of worship, a theater, an auditorium, or other places where ringing and buzzing noises are distracting.
- Webster’s dictionary editors will resolve to add the term “5 minutes” and define it as a period of time that can last anywhere from one hour to half a day.
- Retailers will make it easier to match up the identification numbers on receipts and gift receipts to the identification numbers and bar codes on the labels of purchased merchandise.
- Electronics retailers will resolve to print receipts – particularly those that have information required for extended warranties – on sturdy paper with ink that won’t fade.
- Clothing retailers will resolve to ban anorexic-looking models from their ads and catalogs.
- Your spouse will resolve to tell you what they really want for a gift instead of saying “I don’t know,” or “I don’t need anything.”
- Home repair contractors will resolve to finish up one home remodeling project before leaving it to work on others.
- Home repair contractors will resolve to tell their customers that one week (as in, “We’ll be able to complete that in a week.”) may consist of 20 to 30 days.
- Fashion designers will resolve to design lines of stylish clothes for men and women over age 50.
- The “get rich” gurus will resolve to tell their customers the truth: that the way they make most of their money is by selling gullible dreamers information about how to make money.
- Superstores will resolve to hire enough cashiers so it doesn’t take twice as long to check out as it took to shop.
- Supermarkets will resolve to put bread, dairy and frozen foods near the front of the store instead of at the furthest possible location from the entrance and cashiers.
- Women magazine editors will resolve to stop running pictures of whipped-cream coated desserts and cherry-topped, double-chocolate, raisin-nut brownies next to the “Lose 10 Pounds in Two Weeks” headline on their front covers.
- Airlines will resolve to rearrange their seating so (a) your knees don’t hit the seat in front of you and (b) you can open the cover of your notebook computer even if the person sitting in front of you leans their seat back.
- Businesses, hospitals, and public buildings will resolve to hang “no perfume” signs next to the “no smoking” signs.
- Hardware and software manufacturers will resolve to include comprehensive paper manuals with their products and make them big enough to find on a book shelf or in a file drawer.
- Consumers will resolve to read and follow the manual or instructions shipped with the product.
- The phone company resolves to add a new service named Call Tattle-Tale which would alert callers that the person they called really is in the office and able to take calls.
- Job applicants will resolve to learn how to spell and proofread.
- Your spouse will resolve to record all checks he/she writes in the check register at the time they are written.
- Stove manufacturers will resolve to include instructions that warn: Do not operate while the Internet is running.
Those are some resolutions I wish others would make. How about you? What New Year’s resolutions do you wish others would make? Add them in the comments below.